How Are Things?

This week I’ve been noodling hard on change and impermanence.

As a neurodivergent person, casually being asked, “So, how are things?” can send my overthinking mind into a turbo high spin cycle.

I start scanning for something socially acceptable to say. Something honest, but not too honest — and by the time my brain times out, the unspoken window for responding has already closed. And so has the chance for connection.

My instinct then is to jet — to exit the conversation and find somewhere quiet to dry out my emotions.

But in writing, I can go at my own pace and I can choose how and when to tell my story.

So here I am. I want to tell you how things really are right now and in the only way that feels true for me, today.

As a poem.

There have been multiple job losses in my life. Each time, things became few.

Over and over I’ve learned that I always figure it out and that it will be okay.

As time has shown — my hands have not stayed empty forever.

I have held work, stability, and hope, again and again.

While I look around, things become new again — not because I control them, but because I am more present to notice them.

Even in this.

This hazy shade of winter.

Relaxed open hands resting palms-up on lap in soft natural light against a muted blue background.
Person in light denim and ankle boots standing on icy ground, symbolizing finding footing during a life transition.

Change has a way of reshuffling our sense of stability and it can be very difficult finding your footing.

No pressure to write me a poem.
Just an invitation to check in with yourself.

Does that deer-in-the-headlights reaction feel familiar when someone casually asks, how are things?

If that question makes your nervous system tighten and your left glute twitch, you’re not alone. Sometimes it’s easier to say “fine” than to untangle what’s actually happening beneath the surface.

If you’re in a season where things feel blue, few, or fewer than usual, maybe try these things that I am working on too:

Instead of trying make sense of the chaos of change, start by simply naming the season of life you are in.

Is this a contraction season?

A rebuilding season?

A waiting season?

A letting go season?

Naming — the season, situation and feeling — is taming. It brings grounding to the floating panic of change.

Even in contraction, something is still alive.

Where do you still feel warmth?

Who feels steady?

What idea hasn’t cooled?

What part of you is still breathing with curiosity?

Warmth is your core resource.

Tend that flame.

When resources thin, it’s easy to feel that as personal inadequacy.

But “few” is a condition — not an identity.

Fewer dollars. Fewer opportunities. Fewer answers.

Not few worth. Not few capability.

Things become not few again.

Choose one thing to have and hold this week:

One application.

– One conversation you’ve been meaning to have when the time is right. It can be as small as talking to (even just a ‘hi’) a neighbor you meet at your mailbox.

– One organized drawer.

– One budget review.

– One hour of focused creative work.

This one thing is enough.

How Are Things Resources

1. A Hazy Shade of Winter by Simon & Garfunkel

2. A Masterclass on Dealing with Change: A 3-Step Process | The Mel Robbins Podcast

Mel Robbins | The Mel Robbins Podcast